My Worst Fear
by PlainJaneIam
Summary: M/S One Parter "You finally gave me one good reason not to go / But staying here is my worst fear"


A/N: this is just a little one parter/songfic I cooked up while I shouldve been doing other things but what can I say? Im easily distracted :) anyway I dont own anything to do with WAT and the song used it 'My Worst Fear' by Rascal Flatts... please R&R

This was it. The end of them.

He just couldn't do it anymore.

He loved her. Not that he would ever tell her.

It would only make things harder for the both of them.

Besides she had made it perfectly clear how she felt.

She had hurt him.

Repeatedly.

He exhaled deeply, feeling her roll further into him.

They hadn't stayed together overnight in a week.

But she showed up on his doorstep, take out in hand.

She must've realized how close they were to a breakup.

Especially after the little scene in the office this morning.

He had to admit, she made an effort.

Finally.

But it was too late.

He was done trying to fix things.

She stirred slightly. "Martin?" She whispered into the darkness.

His eyes snapped shut.

"I'm glad you're asleep because I probably couldn't say this otherwise."

She paused.

"I know I don't show it very well, or at all really.

But I love you. At least I think I do.

I've never been with someone like you.

Someone who cares about me just because I'm me.

Not because I'm good in bed."

She whispered, her voice shaking slightly.

On the verge of tears.

He forced himself not to care.

To remember that she was only saying it when he couldn't hear.

She would never change.

And he knew it. So he remained quiet.

"I just, wanted to tell you that I love you.

And hopefully one day I'll be able to say that out loud.

And in public."

She leaned up kissing him softly.

Her lips lingered as she breathed him in.

She laid her head down on his chest as her breathing slowed.

She was fast asleep as he lay there.

Thoughts of her consumed him.

And sleep eluded him.

Should he give her another chance.

See if things got better.

Or knowingly break her heart.

Tomorrow was going to be one of the hardest days he'd ever face.

_Last night you gave me a kiss  
You didn't know it, but I was awake when you did  
You were quiet, you were gonna let me sleep  
So I just laid there pretending to be  
You said some things you didn't  
Know I could hear  
And the words "I love you" never  
Sounded so sincere_

_It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving  
Now that I know just how much you care  
You finally gave me one good reason not to go  
But staying here is my worst fear _

He didn't know when he finally went to sleep.

He seemed to have laid there for hours.

He took in every curve of her body.

Every freckle.

Every strand of hair.

All of her.

After today he'd no longer be able to see her this way.

The unguarded, real Samantha.

The one he loved.

How would he get over her?

She was everything he ever wanted in a woman.

Aside from the obvious issues.

She would be the one by which all other women are measured.

Would anyone be able to live up to her?

To the bond they had?

It wouldn't do him any good thinking of other women.

There was no telling how long it'd take for him to get over her.

She had his heart.

And he wasn't quite sure he wanted it back.

He just wanted her to be a little more careful with it.

And maybe even give him hers.

He slid out of bed and made his way to the kitchen.

He expected her to be leaning against the counter.

Sipping coffee.

Reading the paper.

That was the routine.

But she wasn't there.

Or in the living room.

Or the bathroom.

Or the balcony.

Or outside on the front steps.

She was gone.

He didn't understand.

Last night she said she loved him.

And this morning she left.

He wondered if she'd been called in.

He didn't hear her phone ring this morning.

But he also didn't hear her leave.

Then he saw it.

A letter on the counter.

Leaned against the coffee pot.

He picked up the stationery instantly recognizing the handwriting.

It was from Samantha.

Who else was he expecting it to be from?

No one else had been in his apartment.

He unfolded the paper.

His heart pounded furiously in his chest.

'Martin

I know you haven't been happy lately.

And that's mainly my fault.

Well, it's totally my fault.

You deserve so much more than I can offer.'

He noticed a few drops on the page, smearing the words.

She had cried writing this.

His heart was breaking slowly, painfully.

He didn't need to read the rest of the letter to know what it would say.

She was leaving him.

Because she thought he deserved better.

If only she knew that she was all he wanted.

But she wanted him to be happy.

With or without her.

'You are more than I could ever ask for in a man.

So thank you for restoring my faith in the male species. :)

I'm going to stay with my sister for a few weeks.

I'm sure Jack will tell you all about it.

I'm sorry for doing this in a letter, but I'd never be able to say it to your face.

Find someone that makes you happy.

As much as I want to be that someone, I'm not.

Not anymore.

I'll miss you.

Samantha'

_This morning I rolled out of bed  
Recalling all the sweet things you said  
This was the day I was gonna hurt you bad  
Called out your name, but you  
Didn't answer back  
I searched the house to find out what was wrong  
Like a ton of bricks, it hit me you were gone_

It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving   
Now that I know just how much you care  
You finally gave me one good reason not to go  
But staying here is my worst fear

All along I knew that there was  
Something missing  
And only one thing left to do  
I had to leave behind this life that  
We'd been living  
But the only thing that left was you

He read through the letter over and over.

Imagining her as she wrote it.

Tears rolling down her cheeks.

Biting her lip.

He went back into the bedroom.

Her clothes were gone.

Her bottle of perfume was gone.

Walking into the bathroom he saw several missing things.

Her toothbrush.

Her hairbrush and blow dryer.

Her shampoo and body wash.

All of it was gone.

She was gone.

He stumbled into the bedroom.

Crashing onto the mattress.

He could still smell her.

Tears welled in his eyes.

He looked to the nightstand where a picture of them sat.

He was surprised she didn't take it too.

The tears spilled out of his eyes.

Rolling down his cheeks slowly.

He stared at the picture.

They were at the Toland's.

One of the few times she actually went with him.

It was taken unexpectedly.

Which is what he loved about it.

They were focused solely on each other.

Smiles covering their faces.

His mind traveled to that night.

They had eaten dinner and were beginning on dessert.

Chocolate cake with chocolate icing made from scratch.

Death by chocolate his aunt always called it.

He took a large bite smearing chocolate on his lips and nose.

Laughter erupted from her causing him to laugh as well.

Somewhere in the pandemonium Allison snapped a picture of the two.

If only he could go back to that time.

She was so happy.

And he was happy simply because she was.

He jumped off the bed.

He couldn't lose her.

He rushed to the office and logged onto the network.

Sure enough, Jack informed the team that Sam would be away for a while.

No details given.

Not that he thought Jack would divulge her personal information.

He looked up her credit card records.

She had purchased a plane ticket this morning.

And she had booked a hotel room in Milwaukee.

He stood from his desk and walked straight into Jack's office.

"Jack, I need to take the week off."

"That's a bit of an inconvenience since Sam's gone too.

Any reason for this sudden decision?"

"I've got to get her back." He answered.

"Get who back?" Confusion spread across Jack's features.

Of course he wouldn't know.

No one knew.

"Sam."

"Sam?"

"Yes." Martin ran a hand over his face, trying to ease his frustration.

"She left because of me, well at least partially because of me."

"So you two are... together?" He asked removing his glasses.

"Until this morning, yes."

Why did Jack keep asking questions?

He needed to leave.

He needed to get her back.

Jack noticed the young agent's defeated attitude.

"You've got a week, but I want you back here Monday morning."

Martin's entire face lit up and he nearly ran out of the office.

He called the airport on the way home.

He booked the first ticket to Milwaukee.

The entire flight he was lost in thought.

He couldn't believe he planned on breaking up with her.

Why did it take her leaving for him to realize how much he loved her?

He wouldn't make that mistake again.

Not if he could help it.

Hopefully, she'd be happy to see him.

Hopefully.

_It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving  
Now that I know just how much you care  
You finally gave me one good reason not to go  
But being alone is my worst fear  
And staying here is my worst fear_

He stepped off the plane headed for the hotel.

He arrived shortly after and went straight to the front desk.

"I need a room." He said slightly out of breath.

"Would you like a single or double room, sir?"

"Uh... single."

"Smoking or non?"

"Non."

"Would you like a room with a view?" The man asked.

"I really don't care." Martin answered shortly.

"I just want a room. I don't care which one to be quite honest."

"Ok, sir. Room 309." He held out a key nervously.

Martin handed over his credit card and pocketed the room key.

He took back the card, pocketing it as well.

"What room is Samantha Spade in?"

"215, sir."

"Thanks." He grabbed his bag and headed for the elevator.

He made his way to her room and stood nervously outside her door.

Would she even want to see him?

He knocked lightly on the door.

He heard her stirring in the room.

"One minute!" She yelled.

She opened the door, wallet in hand.

"Was it $15 or $16?" She questioned.

She dug through the wallet, pulling out some bills.

"No charge." He replied.

Her head shot up to meet his gaze.

"Martin?"

"Have you already forgotten what I look like?" He joked.

"God, no. Sorry, I'm just shocked to see you here."

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course."

She pushed the door further open allowing him to step inside.

They stood silently for a few moments.

Trying to read each other's thoughts.

He brought a hand up, brushing the hair from her eyes.

She leaned into his touch.

"What are you doing here?" She finally asked.

"I had to see you."

He took a step closer to her.

His hands found their place on her hips.

"I thought I was the last person you'd want to see."

"Far from it." He leaned in kissing her softly.

"You make me happy. I couldn't let you leave without telling you how I really feel.

And while I'm at it, I don't want us to break up."

He paused. "I love you, Sam."

Her breath caught in her throat.

"You.. you love me?"

A smile spread across her face.

He nodded, running his hands up and down her back.

"Good."

"That's it?" He smiled.

"No 'I love you,too'? No 'I'm glad you're here'?"

"I do love you. And I am glad you're here."

She placed her hands on his chest.

Feeling his heart beat steadily.

"Well, now it just doesn't feel like you mean it."

He pouted jokingly.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, melting into him.

She kissed his neck then his lips.

She pulled away slightly.

Their lips nearly touching.

"I love you, Martin. And I'm really happy to see you."

"You may not be as happy when you find out what I told Jack."

"Why's that?" She asked looking into his eyes.

"I told him I needed the week off so I could come win you back."

"How'd he react to that?"

"He was a little surprised at first but he gave me the week off."

She smiled and kissed him.

"Are you mad?" He asked.

He didn't know how to feel about things anymore.

He loved her, but was tired of keeping the relationship a secret.

If that's what she needed though, he'd do it.

He couldn't lose her.

Not again.

"No." She answered. "I think I'm ready to tell everyone."

"Really?"

"I don't know why I was so hesitant before.

I love you and I want everyone to know it."

"Me too." He brushed his lips over hers.

"And I want the guys in Violent Crimes to quit hitting on you."

"That makes two of us, pal."

She laughed and his heart beat sped up at the sound of it.

She was it. She was the one.

And he couldn't be happier.


End file.
